WEIRD NEGOTIATIONS

DATES OF NOWADAYS! 

Ehhhhh God! This smell of oven fresh crispy fries and chicken just hit my nostrils out of nowhere, please who is concocting this sorcery? This is the kind of thing that happens when; you’re hungry and your mind is calculating what you’re going to have for dinner with very little or no options. Truth is, I toyed with the idea for a while but…I killed the idea right there and then... yeah! too tired for fancy food this night. Baby girl is mentally drained from the day’s work abeg!

Quite frankly in recent times, I’m learning to satisfy all my food-related cravings. I mean, I can’t picture life with boring food. Nah! You feel like eating asun and Chinese, just order it YOLO! You feel like eating hot amala with ewedu in this cold weather? By all means, get it.

So let me ask real quick, if you as a babe can afford your own meals, buy whatever food you want, at any time, why do you need to date a guy because of free food? Otherwise that’s not the case. No I’m I’m not oblivious of that funny situation where girls go on a date with a guy they just met, decide to bring their friends and family members along, without his permission and still want to have takeout when they’re done from the restaurant from this same guy because you want to ‘chop his money’.  Babe! Babe. fear God na, or are you a ‘Yahoo girl’? Lol. Yeah this behaviour of yours, only makes you a broke ass Yahoo girl period. Don’t talmbout how he just wants to ‘spoil you’ or he’s ‘nice’ or is you feeling entitled, slay queen??

Now don’t get it twisted I’m not making a case for the guys but there are always different sides to a story. So let’s pause for a moment and imagine, if he’s paying for a date does he want something in return? Yes? No?  What can he possibly want? Friendship? Sex? You need to have this conversation in your head before you go on ANY DATE. (Well there can be ‘harmless’ dates with colleagues and friends)

Aha! There’s the ‘vex money’ thing too. Growing up, I always made sure I had enough money to pay for whatever food I had on a date. Just in case, the devil shows up and ‘Uncle’ decides to piss me off. I’ll gladly pay for my meal and call it a date.

Honestly, dates aren’t even about the food! It’s more about connecting with the other person, listening to the conversations. For instance if it’s a catch-up date, there’s a lot of information exchange and you’re less concerned about what’s on their menu sometimes except you’re very hungry. I’ve lost count of dates where I had only water and my host insisted; we have takeouts at least. These days there are a lot of nice fine dining restaurants everywhere with great ambience and you can take lovely photos.

Now this is the advanced stage; staying off those ‘funny dates’ completely. There’s nothing wrong with saying you’re unavailable for a date. Dates with yourself or your other girlfriends can be really fun, you know. 

Some weekends ago, I was on my own ‘jeje’. This dude slid into my DM and started asking for a hangout. He was just an acquaintance and I didn’t want to be rude. After some persuasion, Uncle said pick any restaurant you want, and I’ll foot the bill.  (That was a red flag in itself I had other appointments and was trying to fit him in…I said let’s do Chinese…He started narrating an epistle of him not liking Chinese food. At that point, I knew this hangout isn’t happening. Lollll. Guy, geddifok with your superstory and leave my DM. After a few weeks he was back with seafood restaurant agenda… maybe by tomorrow he will make it happen. I see him like everyday and I’m ashamed on his behalf… (well that na if e get shame sha…. moving on!) 

Morale: Guys should profile the kind of girls you want to take on a date; not all are hungry, broke ass, yahoo girls, some can comfortable pay for their own meal and yours. Babes not all guys have deep pockets, there are weak pockets men with a sex agenda, always carry enough vex money. Pay for your own meal and book your uber and leave him at the restaurant imagining, “what just happened right now?”